The Gypsy Bard
by TheLucky1331
Summary: After Jacqueline dies, all the parties in Tulsa started to suck. These are the last things the Curtis gang remember about Jacqueline. Minor OC/Johnny Mainly a rememberance. Please R&R: More characters with each chapter
1. Party in the Sky

_People always tell me that she's in that big party up in the sky now. But the thing is, I don't believe them. Jackie's always here, even if the others don't think so. All the parties in Tulsa are bland now that she's gone. Sodapop never smiles or laughs anymore, and Two-Bit drinks so much more heavily now. At least a fifth of Jack Daniels whiskey a day, if not a lot more than that. I didn't realize the impact she had on all of our lives until she was gone for good. We all wished that she'd die, that she'd shut her trap for more than a minute, and now... we all regret thinking that, regret ever telling her to shut her mouth. Darry keeps himself too busy with work to really care, but you can tell that he's hurting because of the things he had said to her before she got herself kiled._

_"Sugar's gonna kill you one day, and I hope it does. Maybe, you'll learn your damn lesson!"_

_Truer words had never, ever been said. Darry never screams or yells at me anymore, about any mistake I make, beacause the same thing could happen to me like it did to Jacqueline. I miss her, I really do. She was strange, sure, but damn, were her parties the best in Tulsa. She loved those parties. So, at her memorial service, we did exactly what she asked us to. We all wanted to make sure, even if it killed us, Jacqueline would get her one death wish._

_"Pone, at my funeral, make it a party! I want balloons, and cake and punch. I don't want people to be sad when I'm gone! I want them to be happy that I can party all night now!" And she was so happy, so joyful when she went. It should have rubbed off on all of us, but instead, we were torn apart by her departure. When we all went to say our good-byes, she didn't cry. Jackie didn't even appear to be sad. Johnnycake went in first, and we could tell he was trying to be tough, but that he was ripping apart at his seams, that he was going to break. They were very close to each other, and it was increasingly obvious that they had a thing for each other. We were all expecting them to have... gotten together(?) before this time._

_Due to subsequent conversations, I think that the days Johnny saw her were the only times Jacqueline cried while she was in that hospital._

_~~Johnny's P.O.V~~_

_Jackie was my only girl friend and the only one I'd call my very best. We were so different, sure, but she understood me. Jackie was always smiling, always happy, always partying. Every day she was in the hospital, I went and saw her. We talked and talked for hours on end (Actually, she talked my ear off, and I just sat there and listened). Jackie told me she was scared. Scared of dying, scared of what happens on the other end. I know for a fact that I ain't. It sure is hard to be there for people when you don't understand what they're going through, the things they've seen and done. I mean, I was hanging on a thread, but I guess God decided it wasn't my time, yet. But Jackie, she had so much to live for, so much to breathe for. _

_"JOHNNY! I didn'tknowyouwerecomingohmycoffee IamSOOOgladtoseeyou!" That's Jacqueline for you. Fast-talking, hyper, and in short, unpredicatable. There she was, hanging on life support, and still the happiest girl in the world, and all because of what? Me seeing her? See, that's why I don't understand her. She can be halfway dead, her cat... starving, freshly broken-hearted and STILL see the "sunny" side of things. I guess- I guess that's why we were so close. I don't ever talk anymore now that she's gone. What's to talk about? The Oklahoma plains? The weather? I used to talk, not as much but I still did. I never do anymore, except maybe to Pony, and even then, it's still a rarity that I do. I can't say that I enjoy talking to him anymore, because honestly, I don't like talking to much anyone any more._

_ I really do miss her. I remember that during one of her last three days, we kissed. It wasn't anything special, anything important, but we did._

_ "Hey, Johnny."_

_ "Yea, Jacqueline?"_

_ "I think I'm dying. I don't think I'm gonna make it! They-they told me I only have a few days left... and then something about laughing gas."_

_ "I...I didn't know you didn't know until now. We-we've all been here at least once to say our good-byes to you. That's why we all came." I said to her, and her muddy brown eyes darkened; lost all it's color. If I regret saying anything, that was it. It took all of her happiness right out, made her scared. Unless you know her, you don't understand how bad it is to make someone so happy... sad. Frightened. Scared. _

_ "...even you? You only came because today was the last day I was ever going to see you again?" Jackie whimpered, the Hoover Dam holding back her tears breaking. I shook my head and tried to comfort her the best way that I would think of. Then we kissed. Simple, short, nothing special, but it was as if the sun had broken through on a cloudy, rainy day. _

_ "Sir, your time's up. The others do need a chance." The nurse said, rudely escorting me out of the room. Jackie waved._

_ That was the last time I ever saw her alive._


	2. Fading Smiles and Time Trials

**_A/N: For story purposes, Johnny and Dally are not dead. These chapters are going to be very short, however, at the end of the fanfiction, there will be more Jacqueline/Johnny backstory, and maybe a one-shot between the two. _**

_~Sodapop's P.O.V~_

_January 15th, 1967. _

_I hate that day, I hate what happened on that day, I hate everything about it. It was the day that Jacqueline finally decided to "take a nap", as she put it. It hurts to see someone die that you knew well, knew everything about. Jackie was like the mental patient little sister to most of us (sans Steve, but, you know how he can be sometimes). I was the one who saw her die. I was the one who had to go and tell the others that she passed on. See, that's why I hate that day. Not because Jacqueline died, not because we all broke down and had a bawl-baby fest, but because I found what I was: The middle-man. When Pony and Darry got into fights, they both came running to me to take their side. Talking with Jacqueline always kept me at hope; kept my spirits high. Now that she's gone, I-I don't feel happy anymore. I guess no one does. Darry and Pony never fight, but you never see much of either of them anymore. Ponyboy's always got his nose buried in some sort of book, and Darry works all the time, because of what happened. I don't blame them for not wanting to come around anymore._

_"BUBBLES! YOU BROUGHT ME BUBBLES!" Yup, the day she passed, I brought her her favorite non-edible object: bubbles. I sure do hope that Jacqueline never realised she was going to die until she did. If anything, I'd want her to be happy on her death bed._

_"Y-yeah, I-I brought yo-you bubbles." How can someone dying, no doubt going through excessive amonts of pain for treatment, be so damn happy? I'd like to know. Jacqueline's hair hadn't been brushed since her admission, so (to me at least) it looked like she was drowning in a pool of red apples. Wild. Tangled._

_"Are you okay, Soda? It's me, isn't it? You want me out sooooo bad that you're crying!" I didn't realize that I had been crying. Jesus Christ, how tuff am I? _

_"Y-yeah, that's it. I really do want you out. I-I miss you, and am going to miss you."_

_"What do-do you mean? Is what Johnny said true? I thought he was just-just pranking me!" _

_Johnny wouldn't prank anyone. It must be the result of all the pills and shit they've got her on._

_"There's always the big party in the sky. I hear it never ends, and guess what? When you go, you'll be the guest of honor." I told her, hugging her tightly. I never had an "interest" in her, but what can you do for someone that's dying?_

_"I don't want to go."_

_Before anything else could come out of my mouth, her heart moniter went flat._

_She was gone. Like, dead gone. Not like Sandy, who could (and will) come back at any time now. Like, gone and not the foggiest chance of saying good-bye to anyone else. And I, I had to WATCH her die, watch her suffer._

_I hope the party up there's good, Jacqueline, because we're all miserable and depressed without you._

_~Steve's P.O.V~_

_I am going to be completley honest, I never liked her. She was way too hyper, way too irritating for me to deal with, and I still don't know how the others could deal with her. Jacqueline was always bouncing off the walls, and I guess they dealt with her by ignoring it completley. They just pretended that Jacqueline didn't just break the glass in the window. Darry never yelled at her about that. I can't say I miss her very much, but I do miss her just a little. Jackie always... entertained us with her hyperactive-ness._

_"Um...hi." She said to me once I mustled into her room, right before Soda. Jacqueline was unusually quiet and didn't look me in the eyes when I spoke to her. My original plan was not go see her in the hospitial, and just go to the funeral/memorial service. But of course, Sodapop insisted that I go. I have to give Jacqueline a hell of a lot of credit, though. Not many people can keep a smile on their face when they're dying._

_"Hey." I grumbled back. For a while we just sat there in our awkward silence, trying to think of something to say, but what CAN you say to someone you never liked, yet had the audacity to come and see you on your final hours on Earth? Not much._

_"You didn't have to come. I know you don't like me and never did." She said, and, honestly, I was shocked. I had never heard her sound so solemn, so serious. For a split second, Jacqueline's smile faded, but then dashed back on her face. You could tell that her facade was beginning to crack. Jacqueline was scared and frightened, like a child. Like Ponyboy was when he and Johnny ran away to that church. But this was different in a way. She knew she was going to die (no thanks to Johnny), knew that she was never going to see us again, and yet, she was content._

_I guess I really didn't have a reason not to like her, but I do and I'm glad she's gone._

_ I'm not glad she's gone for the fact that when she was alive I never liked her, but because she's not depressed anymore. Look, Jacqueline took a lot of pills to help with her depression, and that kind of... messed up her mind, per se. She had the mind of a 10 year old, which is why she was ALWAYS hyper and ALWAYS energetic._

_ "I just came to say that I hope the parties up in Heaven are good. That's all." After her death, I wished I had said more, but that's the way everyone is. They think they've said everything they wanted to say, but end up forgetting something or being fearful of saying it, then their oppurtunity is gone._

_ "Thanks! Now go fix your cars and do whatever you do with Evie. I know you don't want to be here." What was she, some kind of mind reader or something? Maybe she just knew. _

_ "Why are you here, Jacqueline? Why are you here in this hospital when you could be outside and making us wish you were gone without feeling shitty?" I asked aloud._

_ "I dunno. Something about an overdose and my blood sugar. Just get out, okay? You're happier somewhere else. Anywhere but here." Jacqueline smiled knowingly, and pointed towards the hospital door, all bland and colorless. A contradiction to who she was._

_ "You will be soon, too. And don't expect me to ever say this again, but I'll miss you... I guess." And I left without another word to her._

**_A/N: The next chapter will be the funeral, which is where Darry, Dally, and Two-Bit's P. will come into play._**


	3. Regrets

**_January 24th_**

_Darry's P.O.V_

_"You say things you regret, then you apologize, and most of the time, you are forgiven. That's what a friend does for you; they forgive, then they forget and life goes on. No matter how many times I apologized for what I said to her that day, I still felt terrible for saying it. Jacqueline didn't show a sign of hurt or contempt. She just laid there and giggled like some sort of maniac. For me, it was impossible to stay angry at her. How do you stay mad at someone who has less than two hours to live?" I paused and looked up from my spot on the podium. All eyes, dry or wet, were on me, patiently awaiting for me to go on, to keep talking. "Jacqueline always forgave us, for everything we did. I still don't know why, but one of her favorite...excuses was that it was because she thought most of us were friends with her; enjoyed her company, when, in reality, Jacqueline was a nuisance to most of us. Now that she's gone, you wish you could take back all the things you said or thought wrong. You wish you could apologize, be forgiven, and move on, but you can't. She's gone now, and everything you wanted to say means nothing now. Apologies, confessions, it all means nothing. One thousand apologies cannot fix what's been done." I looked up, my vision blurry from the tears I had been trying to keep in. In my mind, it was my fault Jacqueline was dead. My fault that I was stupid and foolish enough to say what_ _I had said. _

_It sure didn't feel like much of a party to me. It was foggy and damp. Before the funeral, there was an open-casket viewing. I believe that Jackie would be quite unhappy with people looking at her dead body before remembering who she was; what she meant to all of us. Jacqueline looked colorless, although three green balloons had been tied to her casket, just like she'd asked us to do for her. We did everything the way she wanted us to, and she couldn't even smile for us. _

_"Darry? It's time. You have to let her go, man. Jacqueline's gone now. There ain't nothin' we can do to bring her back." Steve muttered to me as we all took our seats, front and center. I'd been through this before, with our parents, but, this, this was completley different. Greasers and socs alike had shown up, and for what? To honor a girl that you could say I murdered? I know they say blame doesn't help what happened; won't make it go away, but it was my fault. I had always been so rude to her, no matter what the girl did to try and be friends with me. The funeral went underway around 8:00 A.M or so, but I really can't say for sure. You could tell poor Johnny was trying to be tough; trying his damnedest not to burst out into tears right then and there. I understood how he felt, trying to put on a facade of bravery at your weakest hour. Jacqueline was his best friend, one of the only people he could really trust, despite their polar differences. He had maintained his "bearing" for about ten minutes when he finally snapped. Completley. If anything, it's absolutley heartbreaking to see Johnnycakes bawl like that. _

_We all tried to comfort him; try to tell him that it was alright, but us greasers, we're terrible liars. We were all beginning to crack, even Steve, the one who hated her the most. I looked about, and, to my surprise, two people hadn't shown up: Dallas and Two-Bit. Two-Bit... he took it the hardest. They were the best of friends, they drank, laughed, cried, did everything together. I nudged Ponyboy, who looked to the side with tear-streaked cheeks._

_"What?" He whispered. I whispered back the fact that Two-Bit and Dallas hadn't made an appearance. I wouldn't have expected Dallas to. He just didn't care. Two-Bit was probably drinking off his pain. A few hours after Jacqueline died, news finally got around to Two-Bit, and the first place he went was a desolate bar near the border of the West and East side. We haven't seen much of him since, and when we do, he's drunker than we've ever seen him before. He does all kinds of whiskey, but his favorite one is moonshine. I understand how he feels. He-he never got the chance to see her before she died. Out of all, Two-Bit and Johnny were the two that took it to heart more than all of us, all I did was take the blame for her death. I went out a coward._

_-Two-Bit's P.O.V-_

_Most of the time I'm drunk outta my goddamn mind. I don't hang out or even talk to the Curtises anymore. I'm always in a bar, getting drunk as hell, but what do you expect? I'm Two-Bit, and Two-Bit gets drunk off his ass. I haven't gotten any worse than when I first started drinking, so, I have no idea what Darry's saying when he's preaching about 'alcoholism' and 'self-control'. He didn't have no "self-control" when he slapped Ponyboy, or when he told my best friend he wished she was dead. Darry can shut his trap about all that 'self control' bull. Anyways, I came this close to choking Darry when he said that to her. How in the hell does someone have the nerve to tell a kid that? Jackie always bitched at me for calling her a kid, but she has the body of a 15 year old, but the mind of, at the most, a 6 year old. She loved parties. She loved sugar more than anything, and that's what killed her. Sugar and pills, like beer and Mickey Mouse. _

_ "What...is he doing here this drunk?"_

_ "At least he made a showin', Pony."_

_ "But drunk? At her funeral?"_

_ Those words seemed like a foreign language to me. I was drunk as ever, and in my drunkenness, I went to Jacqueline's funeral. My welcome? Stares and glares from teary-eyed on lookers. A few people even had the audacity to mutter curse words under the breath as I staggered by. I strided casually down the center isle, up to the front where the Curtises and the rest of my previous gang were sitting. I gave them my best smile, a bow, and took my seat._

_ "Sir, are you...drunk?" The funeral coordinator guy asked, staring at me coldly. I nodded proudly and encouraged him to go on. Honestly, I felt that Jacqueline would have been proud that I wasn't cryin' and carryin' on. I did that bawl baby stuff before I came. This funeral was to be treated like a party; a symbol of Jacqueline's passing onto a different town; a different party some where else. It's almost a crime to make a girl that sick so damn sad! They hadn't listened to a word she'd said!_

_ "Two-Bittt! You drunk piece of amphibian shit! You came!" That's the way best friends greet each other, with scathing insults, beer, and hugs. Of course, I had no right giving a 14 year old girl beer, but, she was dying anyway. What was the harm?_

_ "That's right, I came. How ya doin'?"_

_ "I was good until you came. Now I'm superduperlaughidasticalamaz ingly happy!" That's Jacqueline. Never making sense, never understanding a word she says. We sat and talked for a while, and I didn't mention a word about what the doctors told me. I didn't want to make my friend sad. So, we got a little tipsy together, but she was happy being tipsy if it meant talking to me. I'm telling you, she should have been a soc._

_ "Come... b-b-back to-tomorrow, okaay?" Jacqueline stammered, hiccuping. I promised her I would, and I promised I would bring more things for us to drink and talk about._

_ It is my one and only regret that I broke that promise. It is my one and only regret that I didn't say good-bye._

_ I hope you're happy, Jacqueline. I hope the sarsparilla's good and the music keeps you rocking._


	4. The Truth Emerges

_Dally's P.O.V~_

_Never showed up for that stupid funeral. I didn't care. Jacqueline's gone, so why should I just keep remembering that the kid's dead? What's the point of guiltifying myself when it wasn't my fault she died? I ain't takin' the blame for somethin' I didn't do. The kid did it to herself, always eating sugar and nothin' else. We ALL knew it was gonna happen eventually, despite what the rest think. They knew damn well she was commiting a suicide. If anything else, Jacqueline wanted to die. She told me so about three months before it finally happened. She was so miserable, so depressed, and the only thing she did was pop them pills and eat that sugar. Jacqueline didn't ask for no help, didn't confide in none of us to help her out. The only fault this was was Jacqueline's, and no one else's. Johnny didn't force her to eat so much sugar, Darry didn't make her sad, she did it all on her fucking own. I hate the Blame Game. I don't blame myself, or any one but her for what happened. I know, I sound bitter, like I should be 'remembering' her and 'honoring' her, but the truth is, Jacqueline doesn't deserve it. At all. You see, me and her were...friends before she spiraled into her depression. I don't know why in the hell she was so depressed, but she was. I noticed it about two years after we met that her smiles and giggles were all fake. Just like Marilyn Monroe._

_"Heeey, Dal! What's shakin', bacon?" Her trademark greeting. I could tell something was the matter by the strain in her voice. Jacqueline was trying too, too hard to be happy. It was obvious, even to me._

_"Nothin'. What's the matter with you? Your cat die or somethin'?" Her inner gears started malfunctioning as her jaw dropped open in surprise. Yeah, kid, I can see through that plastic little mask of yours._

_"Nothin'! I'm fine..." Her eyes met my shoes, my hand met the side of her kiddish face. "What the HELL?" Jacqueline shouted, clutching her "injured" cheek. _

_"What's wrong? Tell me, or I'll slap you again." As she spilled the contents of what had happened with her diabetes, I felt no pity, no sympathy. Not my fault she couldn't control herself._

_"Oh. Okay. Go ahead and go kill yourself. I'll tell the others you were too much of a coward to live. Johnny has it worse than you, you selfish kid."_

_"WHAT? I...I never said..." Jacqueline sulked off with a sigh. That's the way you gotta treat girls, like they're you're own kind. That's why I was brutally honest with her. I lie, cheat, and steal, but a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do, dig it? _

_"Get outta my face." I said calmly, and she spun around on her heel and walked off, leaving me in the dust of what was her depression. I haven't had anything to do with her since then. Three years really ain't that long to hate and ignore someone. I've hated people since I was born, so, that was nothin'._

_I did show up after the funeral, though. I'd seen Two-Bit walk in there some hours before, and I hadn't seen him leave. What, where they brutally massacred by the priest?_

_"Funeral's over, you'll have to leave."_

_"I don't care."_

_"Get outta here, hoodlum."_

_"Don't want to."_

_"Let the girl rest in peace."_

_"Can't do that."_

_"Get out, hood!" I've heard that so many times, it's almost touching to hear it repeated. Almost. _

_The leftovers of the party were not dissapointing. Jacqueline got what she wanted. Not the party-esque funeral, but death itself. They didn't know her, they knew her phony little facade. Even lil' ol' Johnny believed her lie, and that's what made me the angriest. It's against everything I believe in to ever lie to Johnny._

_So, Jacqueline, I'm glad you're dead. I'm glad we don't have to see your lies and hear your phony happy voice. I'm glad you finally got the courage to kill yourself, you little coward._

_ I hope they all find out the truth of who you REALLY were. Fake, sad, lonely, depressed. I hope they hate you like you hated yourself._


End file.
